November 6th, 2020
Do you always know the right thing to say at the right moment? It takes a lot of study, reflection and in my quest to always be transparent with you, I should be lucky to successfully say the right thing at the right moment 80% of the time; maybe even 70% of the time. You tell me! If you’ve worked with me on any transaction over the last 40 years, what do you think my percentage is? Let me know… send me a note using the email button at the top left of this screen. One thing is for sure, saying the right thing at the right moment is verbal judo!
I attended a negotiating seminar (always have to keep one’s skills honed) entitled “Negotiating: What’s Mine Is Mine, What’s Yours Is Negotiable”. I overheard a participant at the break sharing how much he was enjoying the program. He additionally shared that he had some experience in negotiating in his current job. I inquired as to what that job was and he stated he was a police officer for a police department and, among other duties, he headed up their hostage negotiating squad.
I remember being really impacted. My immediate thought was that if my negotiations (to buy a car, list a house, sell a house, etc) don’t go well, life goes on. In his case, if his (hostage) negotiations don’t go well, that’s a life-threatening or life-ending situation. I shared my awe and admiration about him and his activity.
What he told me next was perhaps the most impacting and influential. He said he spent a lot of time with George Thompson who trained police officers to use their words, their tone, their verbal skills to handle, defuse and control tough situations. Yes, they have the mace, the nightstick, tazer, and even the gun, but that’s not their first choice.
Words, Tone, and Verbal Skills … it’s all about Verbal Judo
He later sent me a copy of George Thompson’s book, Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art of Persuasion (that’s the link to Amazon, but do try to find a local book store and support them). Now before you rush off to Amazon to get a copy, be aware that the book has a heavy slant toward police work and enforcement situations. I’d suggest instead that you realize the core message, that being that our words, our tone and our verbal skills do impact our success in all negotiations. All the time, every time!
Good negotiators always seem to know the right thing to say at the right time to get the desired results. That doesn’t happen by accident. They seemingly have thought through contentious situations before they occur. They remain composed, confident, and command respect.
How do we become that good? It’s simple, we anticipate and prepare. Very few tough negotiating situations sneak upon us. We can expect and anticipate them. So before they occur, wouldn’t it be wise to research and prepare a reply that demonstrates effective ‘verbal judo’?
Let’s be ready with a response that really works. I call this strategy the “Words That Work.” Start working on your negotiating Power Language. I’ll try to contribute, but you’ll know what works as you KEEP Negotiating
If you’d like to set up a Zoom video conference from which at the leisure of your home, you can see my computer screen, ask real estate questions etc, text me at 424-361-0005 and I’d be happy to share the benefit of my near 40 years in the business. I’m like that Farmers Insurance commercial, “…we know a thing or two because we’ve seen a thing or two…” Want more information on our Virtual Home Buying Program?
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